my anxiety thinking affects me in the new year

The “my anxiety” thought popped up again…

My anxiety thoughts occur all the time and it has inspired me to write this blog because it’s nearly that time of year when we are supposed to come up with a New Year resolution, a goal or something to achieve or avoid that will somehow change our lives for the better — when has that ever worked for you?

Are you living on Someday Isle?

Someday I’ll be less anxious, more confident, slimmer, smarter, richer, more loveable, and so the list goes on…so many things we need to change to feel good about ourselves, to live a happier life.

Sadly for many of us those dreams, those goals are never realised, simply because they are all in the future, a place that doesn’t exist and never will!

Planning and goal setting is great, but…

It’s all in the future, on Someday Isle. What we really need to do is live for this present moment we are in right now. We need to deal with what is happening right now, not put it off until tomorrow.

Take the My Anxiety thought…

We all have them, the what-ifs, the thoughts of what could go wrong, the inability to make a decision just in case it’s the wrong one. All these thoughts have their roots in anxiety, self-doubt and self-deprecation. 

But I am not my thoughts… 

I don’t choose “my anxiety” thoughts. They just occur out of the blue. I am not what my thinking suggests I am. I know this to be true because I don’t have anxious thoughts all the time. When I forget about “my anxiety” even for a moment I feel fine. 

So I am not the person that my anxious thoughts try to make me believe I am, I am simply the one to whom those thoughts are occurring. And I can choose whether to believe them or not.

It’s just my anxious thinking going wild, not real things I can deal with…

There is no solution to my anxious thinking, because as soon as I find an answer another thought pops up and takes its place, telling me that my solution could be wrong, and it is replaced by more thinking, and so it goes on and on and on…never stopping and just making me feel even more anxious.

What do all these anxious thoughts have in common?

They are all arising when my attention is either in the past when I’m remembering past “failures” or in the future when I’m imagining what could possibly “go wrong again”.

Once I snap out of my thinking and get involved with something in the present moment “my anxious thoughts” ( and remember they are not mine, they simply occur to me ) simply disappear. And they stay gone for as long as my thoughts avoid the past and the future.

So is the trick is to avoid thinking about the past and the future?

Yes, sounds simple, doesn’t it? It isn’t though, simply because we are used to thinking that way, it’s become a habit that we indulge in automatically.

One answer to this habit is to become aware that the “my anxiety thoughts” you have are not you, they are just thoughts that arise like thousands of others every day, many of which, interestingly, you never pay attention to.

The first step…

Simply become aware of the thoughts that make you feel anxious, don’t try to push them away, or change them, that will only give them importance. Just watch them appear and change and then disappear — it takes practice, but it is worth it if you stick with it.

The “my anxiety” thoughts become less important and less frequent as time goes on. They still arise, but you see them for what they are, just thoughts that have no power unless you decide to give it to them. Thoughts cannot hurt you, they have no power to make you feel anything unless you let them, when you decide which ones to give importance to life becomes easier.

If you need help?

I’m not the finished article, ‘my anxiety thinking’ still rears up every now and then. But now I usually catch the thinking before it takes hold and see it for what it really is — just thought trying to trick me into believing something awful might happen. 

Which it almost never does, so why worry?

If you need help with your anxiety then I can help you to see your thinking differently and guide you to find the peace of mind, the confidence you desire, to make a difference in your life – all without having to visit Someday Isle…

You can contact me in the first instance via email at help@grahamparish.com. 

I would love to hear from you…

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