communication skills, listening skills

Communication skills are an essential skill to master.

Communicating confidently seems to come naturally to some people for others it’s more a difficult thing to do. But it needn’t be that way.

If we expect to have quality relationships, succeed professionally, and live a happy life, we have to be able to communicate effectively and ensure that our voice is heard. 

Without doubt, those around you will hear the sounds you’re making when you talk, but you really need them to actively listen. You want them to hear, understand and remember what it is you’re saying, but that’s often easier said than done; after all, you can’t force someone to listen to you.

In this article, you’ll learn how to start speaking to be heard and get those around you to actually listen, not ignore you.

1) Ask if your opinion is wanted

Have you ever noticed a person avoiding making eye contact with you or interrupting you while you’re offering advice or your opinion?

If they show this little interest in your point of view, the person with whom you’re speaking may be getting defensive.

Getting over this setback can be difficult. If the person you’re talking to is sensing criticism in your tone and/or message it may be triggering a defensive reaction from them. 

Next time present the fact that you may have a new perspective on the situation or some advice and ask if they want to hear it.

Present the information kindly and without harsh criticism. This’ll help to keep them from getting so defensive.

2) Notice the clues the person is giving you

Do people often check their phones while your speaking? Making you feel like you’re just wasting your time and boring them?

This could be caused by communication style differences. Some people respond better to storytelling, while others need direct and focused communication styles.

Using the wrong communication style with the person to whom you’re speaking can cause them to check out of the conversation and become bored. You need to adjust and communicate in a way that will resonate with them.

3) Tell the person you’re talking to what your intentions are

Sometimes, you don’t want a solution to your problems, you merely want to vent about the situation and relieve your stress.

Pre-empt your friends by informing them of this from the start. Don’t lead them on as if you want their opinion when you don’t. 

You can do this by starting the conversation with: “I’m sorry, can I vent a little?” or “I just want to vent right now.”

This will signal to them immediately that you don’t want input, advice, or a solution, you merely want to release some of the stress and be heard.

4) Be the listener you’re asking them to be

Ever heard the phrase: “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated”?

This definitely applies when it comes to truly being listened to. The better you listen, the better those around you will listen to you. When you put the effort in, it motivates other people to do the same. 

Make sure you’re actively listening when your coworkers, friends, or loved ones are talking to you. Show them how important they are by taking an interest in what they say and do. 

Communication skills and listening skills go hand and hand and are a crucial part of achieving success and happiness. You have to be able to convey your message accurately, be heard, and listen well to others. 

I hope this article helps you to speak and actually be heard.

Don’t forget that listening in the same way you’re asking your friends to is just as important; you can neither hold them to higher standards than you hold yourself nor can you expect them to want to truly listen to you without extending the same courtesy.

What next?

Put aside 60 minutes of your time

And let’s have a no-obligation discovery session to find out where you are in your life, and where, if a lack of confidence wasn’t an issue you’d really like to be! 

We’ll discuss what areas you’d like support with, and exactly what help I’m able to offer, and we’ll also discover if we would be a good fit to work well with each other.

Whatever the outcome of our discovery session, I would be truly honoured to meet you and I’ll make sure that you get the best value out of our time together.

Please act now 

Because my discovery sessions are few and far between! 

Don’t miss out on a life-changing opportunity!

Commitment and motivation are crucial to your success! If you don’t take action and stand up for yourself, nobody will!

Remember – You have to make the first move, I can’t do that for you!

What to do now

If you would like to find out more about my coaching or would like to book your discovery session then please call me on 07810 877158 or email me at help@grahamparish.com

I really do hope to hear from you soon!

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