fear of embarrassment

Are you free from fear?

I originally wrote this article for new and struggling hypnotherapists, but it soon became clear to me that it applies to everyone of us. Because it doesn’t matter what you do, what profession you are in or how you earn your living there is one thing that can hold you back and that is Fear of Embarrassment.

Scott Adams, creator of the Dilbert series, in his best selling book How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big says that the most important trait in successful people is a lack of this fear.

Just think about that for a second…

What would you do, or attempt to do if just didn’t care about being embarrassed?

Would you be more visible? Start a YouTube channel? Really start to shout about your business and just how good you really are? Would you write that blog you always said you would – and publish it? Would you raise your rates? Wear something outrageous just because you like it?

If that fear wasn’t holding you back who could you be? What would you have or do?

Successful people remove the fear of embarrassment – and then anything, anything at all becomes possible.

Fear of embarrassment shows up, manifests itself in many ways. It shows up as the excuses we make.

It appears as procrastination. It shows up as practicality: “Oh, I’d love to be a therapist, but I’ll never make enough money that way.” It can show up as ignorance or confusion: “I don’t have any idea what my purpose or direction is.”

Unless your fear is a protective force that stops you from doing something dangerous, like jumping out in front of a speeding car, all fears fit neatly into two groups.

  1. I am not enough.
  2. I do not have enough.

Humans haven’t evolved that far psychologically from the caveman when fears were real and ignoring them could result in death.

But today – not so much of that danger exists.

Being enough in the modern world means being well educated, charming, smart, good-looking, thin, interesting, well connected – the list goes on and on, especially if you are comparing yourself to your peer group and is an impossible task to complete.

Having enough means you possess the luxuries that we all expect to enjoy, a large house, a fancy car (or two), great clothes, keeping up with our friends and rivals, having enough money to buy stuff we really don’t need – and can mean we are constantly striving to get more – another impossible ask.

The circumstances we find ourselves in today are very different from that of the caveman, but our reptilian brain still fears the consequences of not having or being enough.

Examples of I am not enough:

“I can’t tell them that I like/love them, they might not like/love me”

“I can’t ask for more money at work, I’m not good enough at my job”

“Who am I to start my own business?”

Examples of I do not have enough:

“Money is hard to come by”

“Better to stick at my job than take a risk and do what I really love”

“I won’t buy those new boots/laptop/etc…I worry about having enough money”

Not all of these will be seen as coming from fear for everyone.

The truth is that only you will know the true motivation behind the statements you make or think. If your soul is full of passion, with a reason for not doing something that’s great.

If not, and if your decisions leave you feeling insecure, small and unsatisfied – then fear has got you in its grip.

We often, don’t investigate our thoughts or reasons for not doing something in-depth, we simply just want to fit in with the norm, we want other people to like and respect us.

Or we can use our energy to try and work out what it is that we really want from life and move forward to start living the life of our dreams – minus the fear that has been holding us back.

And the reason I wrote this is… 

I work with new and struggling hypnotherapists to check that they have all the business basics in place and help them to realise the importance of having true self-belief.

Once you have the confidence to stop doubting yourself everything else simply falls into place.

And what you’ll discover will also work beautifully well for your clients too.

Then is it simply a case of coaching, guiding and mentoring you to develop your business and take it to the next level one straightforward, easy step at a time.

Contact me

If you want to have a no-obligation chat to see if I can help you take your business to the next level, or help you to break through feelings of overwhelm and dismantle the mental barriers that are holding you back then please call me on 07810 877158 or email me help@grahamparish.com

I would love to talk to you and I can assure you that I will do my best to help you – I know what it is like to struggle to build your business – I have been there!

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