We all want to be happy, don’t we?
That’s the purpose of life, to enjoy it and live happily. There is a “but” though? Would you really want to be happy all the time? You couldn’t spend your life in a permanent state of happiness, could you?
Is too much happiness a good thing?
Being happy all the time is going to be too much to bear after a time, simply because it would become your new normal, and you would be looking to take your happiness to the next level.
No matter what your favourite food is you wouldn’t want to eat it for every meal would you?
Seeking is what we do…
We’re always seeking for more, bigger or better because that’s what humans do…it’s the way we’re programmed to be.
In almost every client that I work with they are seeking something. Whether that is happiness, financial security, love, fame or any number of other desires, they are looking get somewhere or something that they don’t presently have.
Seeking is also avoidance as well…
Those that don’t appear to be outwardly seeking are trying to avoid some kind of mental pain or unhappiness with a situation they find themselves in.
That may be a relationship issue, eating issues, some kind of addiction or battling with negative thoughts that cause them anxiety or depression.
In every case, we think that we will be happy when we achieve our desires, but not until they are fully achieved can we truly be at peace and allow ourselves to feel happy.
The trouble is we never reach that promised land because the goalposts keep moving…and a moving target is hard to hit!
We try to change the way things are…
That’s not a bad thing because we shouldn’t just accept the status quo as if it is written in stone.
There are always things that we can do to improve the situations we find ourselves in, but we need to be in the right state of mind to see the right path to take.
And whilst we are stuck in our seeking mode of thinking the solutions may not be as obvious as if we had true peace of mind.
So do you want to be happy all the time?
No, I want to have peace of mind.
Being happy is great, but keeping that happiness is hard in normal everyday life, things happen that are out of our control and that can make us unhappy.
We feel like we have lost something (control) and then we have to try and get it back. It’s ok to want to change the situation, but if it’s out of your control then that’s the way it is.
Battling against the way things are achieves little and is at the expense of your peace of mind.
Peace of mind is an attitude…
It’s an attitude that we can cultivate. No matter what is happening we can remain calm and balanced, and keep a clear head when all about us is in turmoil, most of the time anyway!
What’s really happening?
In that calm state, you think more clearly and make better decisions. Decisions based on what is really happening, not based on the stories your negative thinking is telling you. Peace of mind helps you to cut out the awfulising.
Having peace of mind helps you to move towards what you really want, and that ironically is often the path to feeling happy. When the seeking and avoidance is put into perspective we naturally feel more peaceful, and we see the opportunities and pathways that we may have missed before.
Peace of mind trumps happiness every time…
That’s just my view though, yours may be different.
I know that having peace of mind helps me to remain well balanced most of the time (being human means that we always get caught out sometimes), and when things get out of hand I regain my equilibrium easier and faster.
And that makes me happy!
How do you get peace of mind?
Start by looking at the stories you tell yourself about what is happening.
Ask yourself is my thinking telling me the truth?
If you are feeling bad then probably not…you are feeling your thinking not what is really happening.
It’s what is really happening that you need to deal with, not your thinking which is making you feel bad, stressed, anxious, depressed, angry, sad or any other type of negative emotion.
If you start to believe the stories you tell yourself then the peace of mind you seek is a long way off.
Just become aware of your thinking…
You don’t need to try and stop the thoughts or change them for better ones, that’s hard work. Just simply become aware of them and see if the situation is as bad as you think it is…
That’s the first step, and usually, all you need to do, but you have to do it, start today, one thought at a time.
Don’t beat yourself up if you forget, just look back and see what really happened, and make a note to remember to be more aware in the future.
Sounds too simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is simple, most solutions are!
You can get peace of mind too…
Sometimes though you may need a guiding hand, and that’s what I do.
As a confidence coach, I point people in the right direction to find the way that is right for them to discover their peace of mind.
If you want to have a chat to see if I could point you in the right direction please feel free to call me on 07810 877158 or email email@example.com
Who knows by calling me you could be taking the first step on your journey towards peace of mind and happiness…