How Ben finally found his self confidence

self confidence coaching for men

From self-doubt to self confidence

Ben’s story of his lack of self confidence is unique to him, all our stories are, and it may be useful to let you have an insight into his journey.

Ben (not his real name) sent me an email after he had been reading some of the blogs and the free eBook that he saw on my website. 

He wasn’t sure if there was anything that I could do to help him, he wasn’t even sure what he needed help with. He just knew that something wasn’t right, and for some reason, he felt drawn to email me and find out more.

We had a discovery call

We set up a convenient time to chat and Ben called me. We ended up talking for nearly an hour. 

During that time Ben discovered what it was that he wanted help with, it was to build up his self confidence, and I got a really good idea about how I could help him get to where he wanted to be.

Ben decided that he wanted to work with me on the spot. I asked Ben to allow our conversation to “sink in”, to take some time to really make sure he wanted us to work together. 

Why would I do that, why would I make him wait, surely it’s better to strike while the irons hot and sign up a client? 

Coaching is a commitment

The reason is simple, it’s because coaching is a commitment, a long term arrangement where we both give our energy and drive fully. If change is going to happen then you need to put the work in, and sometimes it can be challenging.

While coaching can be fun, and very satisfying, there are also times where it seems like you’re never going to make a breakthrough, that’s all part of the process. 

If you give up then nothing will change. It’s my job to keep you motivated and on track, to help you see the answers for yourself.

3 months of coaching

Ben called me a week later and he was still sure that he wanted to go ahead and wanted my help to increase his self confidence.

Ben signed up to  a 3 month coaching package. We arranged the date of our first session and were both really looking forward to getting started.

During our coaching conversations, it became clear that Ben had suffered from low self-esteem ever since childhood, it was deep-seated and often showed up in his life as resentment and anger, often to those that he loved and cared for. 

His lack of confidence was often hidden behind this mask of aggressiveness, verging on the brink of bullying people he felt were beneath him, both socially and career-wise. 

Ben’s anger quickly fell away

As the coaching progressed he came to realise that the mask he was hiding behind wasn’t the real him. It didn’t feel good to be that person, it just didn’t sit right with him. 

He quickly saw that if he could allow the real him to shine through then life would be far easier. Keeping up a false pretence was hard work.

Ben started to make small changes to the way he interacted with people, and to his surprise, they responded favorably. He built alliances and friendships with people that he had previously regarded with suspicion and sometimes distrust.

As if by magic

Very soon the “old Ben” was becoming a part of the past. His confidence and self-worth started to bloom. And as if by magic (his words) things just started to fall in to place. 

His relationships with those closest to him grew deeper and more fulfilling. 

His career took an unexpected turn for the better too, with promotion and increase in salary.

Is it too good to be true?

Now if you’re thinking this is all too good to be true I want to assure you that Ben still has off days, still has disagreements, and still feels anxious sometimes. 

And that is just part of life, it’s the way things are for all of us, but he now knows how to be true to himself. He is now assertive when he needs to be, not aggressive. 

Ben has seen for himself that other people have their problems and that sometimes we get the fallout from that. He is confident enough to not take those peoples opinions, actions and words personally.

Ben decided to have regular coaching. 

He decided that it would be a good idea to have a conversation once every couple of months, so he could in his words “top up his feel-good factor”. 

I really enjoy working with Ben (and my other clients too) and that is what makes coaching really effective for both of us.

What about the real you?

Of course, this is Ben’s story and yours may be totally different, but if you could discover the same kind of feel-good factor, the real authentic you, how much difference would that make to how you feel and to your life?

Put aside 60 minutes of your time. 

And let’s have a totally free, no-obligation discovery session to find out where you are in your life, and where, if a lack of confidence wasn’t an issue you’d really like to be! 

We’ll discuss what areas you’d like support with, and exactly what help I’m able to offer, and we’ll also discover if we would be a good fit to work well with each other.

Whatever the outcome of our coaching session, I would be truly honoured to meet you and I’ll make sure that you get the best value out of our time together. Who knows you might even improve your self confidence!

Please act now… 

Because my discovery sessions are few and far between! 

Don’t miss out on a life-changing opportunity!

Commitment and motivation are crucial to your success! If you don’t take action and stand up for yourself, nobody will!

Remember – You have to make the first move, I can’t do that for you!

What to do now

If you would like to find out more about my coaching or would like to book your FREE discovery session then please call me on 07810 877158 or email me at

I really do hope to hear from you soon!

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